well, it's been awhile...

It's been awhile since my last post, and indeed I return to you in an 'emo' sort of way. So thus far this school year has made me more unhappy than I have ever been in my entire life. Hands down. I've already had more disappointments, let downs, and problems this year than I care to have. I feel like everyone's destined to be happy except for me. I'm serious. Everyone around me is happy at the moment, and for the most part is happy all the time. They always have nice surprises and good things today. This school year thus far from me has been nothing but crying myself to sleep at night, feeling like crap, and always wanting to complain. Why can good things happen to everyone else except for me. Whatever. I feel like no matter what, I'm going to always feel alone. Even when I'm not alone. Arghhh. I wish I could shake this feeling... I really do. I've had it for far too long to still have it. It's funny though, because the first time I can actually say this is in a blog post that no one will probably read, but something that everyone has access to. It's kind of funny because that's how I feel already. Everyone has access to me, but yet no one makes an effort. I feel like I make so much effort in so much, and I'm tired of trying. I really am. I want someone to want to talk to me. I want someone to actually listen to what I have to say, and I want someone to actually care about it. I'm not trying to be emo, and I'm not looking for someone to pity me. Whatever. I say whatever too much. I want to know that someone cares about me, and I want them to go out of their way to tell me that. Ahhhh, this sounds so emo. Whatever, that's how I feel and that's how I've felt for the past month and a half. I'm done writing, This is getting quite long. -Nicole