just popping in to say heyyyy

I don't really have anything to say, I just wanted to pop by to update. Life is good, summer is good. I'm managing an all-star team. 9 and 10 year old girls softball to be exact. it's a fun time and i really enjoy it. other than that, it's been nothing but a bunch of work. i have an apartment to pay for so work is what i gotta continue to do! lol. peaceeeee -nicole

Invisible Children!

For a pessimistic, i'm pretty optimistic...

by Paramore... Just talk yourself up And tear yourself down You've hit your one wall Now find a way around Well what's the problem? You've got a lot of nerve So what did you think I would say? No you can't run away, no you can't run away So what did you think I would say? No you can't run away, no you can't run away You wouldn't I never wanted to say this You never wanted to stay I put my faith in you, so much faith And then you just threw it away You threw it away I'm not so naive My sorry eyes can see The way you fight shy Of almost everything Well, if you give up You'll get what you deserve So what did you think I would say? No you can't run away, no you can't run away So what did you think I would say? No you can't run away, no you can't run away You wouldn't I never wanted to say this You never wanted to stay I put my faith in you, so much faith And then you just threw it away You threw it away You were finished long before We had even seen the start Why don't you stand up, be a man about it Fight with your bare hands about it now I never wanted to say this You never wanted to stay, well did you I put my faith in you, so much faith And then you just threw it away I never wanted to say this You never wanted to stay And I put my faith in you, so much faith And then you just threw it away It hurts that I still love you... a month later. :-(

here's an update...

I thought it was time you got an update. So here we go... For the most part, I've been really unhappy lately. I want things to go back to how they were. Apparently they're not going to. Being single sucks, especially when you're still in love. I'm still going through show withdraw, so i need to go see some live music, maybe it'll make me feel better. until next time, Nicole

hey there!

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, and a very long while since I've posted something good/happy. So, without further adu, I will give you the first post in a long while that has nothing to do with depression: Okay, so first of all, the new semester has been under way for a couple weeks now, and thus far seems to be flying by. The one thing that keeps me going for this semester is knowing that after this semester I'll be halfway done. I'll be halfway done =]. I can't wait to apply for candidacy so I can take actual teaching classes and then student teach. I can't wait! =] In other news, my 20th birthday was yesterday and I couldn't have asked for a better one. It was filled with more fun, love, and joy than I've seen in quite sometime. Also, on a kinda lovey dovey mushy note, I got to see Stephen yesterday and I felt like I fell in love all over again, haha, I'm serious. I loved pretty much every aspect of yesterday. yay! Okay, now onto my last note. I really REALLY need to see a live band... ASAP, I'm going through withdraw. Any ideas? Live in Love, Nicole. <3

well, it's been awhile...

It's been awhile since my last post, and indeed I return to you in an 'emo' sort of way. So thus far this school year has made me more unhappy than I have ever been in my entire life. Hands down. I've already had more disappointments, let downs, and problems this year than I care to have. I feel like everyone's destined to be happy except for me. I'm serious. Everyone around me is happy at the moment, and for the most part is happy all the time. They always have nice surprises and good things today. This school year thus far from me has been nothing but crying myself to sleep at night, feeling like crap, and always wanting to complain. Why can good things happen to everyone else except for me. Whatever. I feel like no matter what, I'm going to always feel alone. Even when I'm not alone. Arghhh. I wish I could shake this feeling... I really do. I've had it for far too long to still have it. It's funny though, because the first time I can actually say this is in a blog post that no one will probably read, but something that everyone has access to. It's kind of funny because that's how I feel already. Everyone has access to me, but yet no one makes an effort. I feel like I make so much effort in so much, and I'm tired of trying. I really am. I want someone to want to talk to me. I want someone to actually listen to what I have to say, and I want someone to actually care about it. I'm not trying to be emo, and I'm not looking for someone to pity me. Whatever. I say whatever too much. I want to know that someone cares about me, and I want them to go out of their way to tell me that. Ahhhh, this sounds so emo. Whatever, that's how I feel and that's how I've felt for the past month and a half. I'm done writing, This is getting quite long. -Nicole

i'm running and i'm never looking back...

Okay, so I got my first grade from my first semester of my freshman year of college. Luckily for me, it was spanish. I got an A =] Yay me ! So, yeah, I'm happy about that, but really, I'm not looking forward to my math grade. haha. "This could be a possibility"